Monday, March 15, 2010

Just put on your ballet slippers and dance.......

Its Monday guys!(WOOT!!) Most people cringe at the idea of celebrating a Monday, however with my work schedule (16 hours on Saturday and 16 hours on Sunday) Monday is a welcome sight. Its always tough to get motivated on Monday morning though, much like someone else's Saturday, I just want to lay around. That's just totally out of the question though, even if there were no treatments to do, no medicine to give, Natalie is a no stop all go three year old that never gets tired, PLUS I've resolved both of us to a healthier lifestyle. So, we started off the day with a trip out to lunch then headed to the park.

I try not to get involved when Natalie goes and finds other kids to play with, she needs to learn how to make friends, and how to deal with rejection when they don't want to play with her. That being said, there was this one little girl today who really didn't want to be around Natalie for some reason, every time Natalie would go to ask her a question, or try to talk to her she would just walk away....finally after persistent little Natalie annoyed her enough, she turned around and said "GET AWAY FROM ME!!" I watched Natalie very closely, trying to gauge her response, she never missed a beat and went to play somewhere else.....I didn't handle it quite as well....I was heartbroken. My mind started to wander to days not that far from now, kindergarten, first grade....would she have to deal with this all of her life? Would children shun her when they found out, would she be ridiculed, mocked, would she be able to find friends that could handle her CF. What if she's never even healthy enough to go to school long enough to make friends.....oh the places your mind can take you. I'm just glad that she is so very strong, she still had a blast, and we still got some exercise in :)

After the park it was time to come home and get dressed for dance class. As upset as I was about the park thing, I was equally, if not ten times more excited about the acceptance we received when we got there. Today was our first class and everyone was sooooo very nice, and soooo very accepting, other little girls were just as sweet as they could be and Natalie just melted right in to the group. I watched her hold hands and come out of her shell (not that she has a thick one) and be involved and interact with other children. It was fun to be on the outside looking into her world for a moment.

So today I guess the issue is with me, my own insecurities in her disease, my fears, my worries. Apparently I need to take lessons from my little one: Some people like you, some people don't, just put on your ballet slippers and dance.

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