Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Natalie update: Pink Vests and Staph

Natalie had her original Vest for a couple of years. It was black, it was ugly, it was made poorly. It was that weird plastic cloth material. It caused to hoses to unravel and the air flow to get pinched off if she moved a certain way. It was a pain. Finally one of the clips broke and we had an excuse to get a new one. I called Hill-Rom and, as always, they were happy to send replacement parts to us.

Natalie was really excited to get her pink vest...it really makes treatment time easier. The hoses stay in place the vest covers her whole chest despite looking a little large and as a bonus, it has made treatment time much more quiet.

In the midst of changing all if this stuff around, Natalie developed a cough. I thought maybe The Vest was moving more stuff around, but after a week or so and a trip to Tulane the Doctors decided to treat her for her staph.

I was a little confused by this, I mean Natalie always grows staph. It's part of her normal culture, H flu and regular staph.

So I guess it got out of hand this time. We're almost through with this round of antibiotics. She seems to be better. We will have to go back and see If he wants to do a second round.

But for now, we're okay.....let the summer begin.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Losing it and TMI

I started with an IUD after Cooper was born. My incredible fertility is a blessing but....well.....I think we have enough.

Ever since that thing has been placed, I've been a little off. Mood swings. Crying spells. Anger. Hostility.

Does the IUD coincide with the prime timing for PPD to come crashing in?


Maybe it's all in my head.

In talking to people about this problem I've learned some disturbing things about what I project into the world. I mean, according to my friends, I was already crazy. According to my nurses at the doctors office, I was already crazy. Really? Because I don't think so....*sigh*

According to my doctor I have PPD and need to be medicated...sooo...I guess we will find out who's right.

Until then, you can find me at the bottom of a bag of Hershey kisses.

All of my best.

Friday, June 15, 2012


The reason my meltdowns don't last very long. He's such a good baby.

Suburban Nightmare

Anyone that knows me knows that you just don't come to me for anything sugar coated. So if you're looking for something sweet to read, you should probably leave right.....about.......now.

Let me start by telling you how much I loved my bright red Civic Si. It was a tiny 6 speed thing of beauty. Was it always clean? Hell no. I have kids. I have things to worry about other than cleaning my car.....but it was mine, and it was pretty, and i loved it.....endlessly.

But today.....today there is something big.....something ugly.....something grey in my driveway.....and it makes me sad.....and it makes me miserable. It is the simple embodiment of everything I hate about suburban life.....about what my life has become.

There was a time when I could park at the mall.....park at Wal-Mart.....any huge parking lot and never, never would my vehicle blend in.....I stood out....I was different. Today I am one of many.....they are everywhere....the same color, the same make, the same model.....maybe not the same year.....but they are there.....it makes me sick.

Call it a touch of PPD, call it what you want.....I just call it miserable.

Wake up, feed the baby, get puked on, pissed on, put the baby back to sleep, change my clothes....maybe.....bathe......sometimes......three kids at the least.....five kids at the most......dinner....dishes....laundry.....throw in treatments, meds for Natalie, fighting with her about food plus the baby's every three to four hour feedings in the mix of all of that along with all of that and the fact that the child still doesn't sleep through the night plus my 16 hour shift and Jason NEVER coming home from his job at AT&hell and you have one unhappy momma.

I am her. I am she. I am the one you see lugging groceries and 15 kids into her minivan......the one you think to yourself  "Gee, I hope she has help at home." or if you're an ass you think "Godd*&n, she shoulda kept her legs shut."

Caitlin got braces.

Natalie is on antibiotics for a staph infection.

Cooper has to have surgery.

Am I feeling sorry for myself? Maybe. Should I quit? Probably.

I just can't shake this one right now though.

I think the reason why is pretty clear too....you be the judge.