Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Isolation Precautions.

When children are diagnosed with CF, it should come with a warning label.

"Severe self induced isolation possible within moments of walking out of hospital."

Its not only isolating for the child, but for the caregiver as well.

As a mother, I internalize my stress. It is not for my child to see. It is mine and mine alone. *wrong* Her father feels the stress....and it belongs to him. *wrong*

I had a realization today....better late than never, I suppose.

Our stress is the same. We have the same worries. We have the same fears. We both feel hopeless, overwhelmed, and frustrated at times.

Why is this news to me? I'm not sure.

A lack of verbalization? Being completely unable to read his mind? That's a huge disservice to him, as well as myself.

NOBODY can take care of Natalie like I can. NOBODY cares as much as I do. I ALWAYS have to do EVERYTHING on my own......*blah, blah, blah*

I've been traveling the blogosphere for a year now.....searching through support groups.....desperately searching for someone who understood. Trying to find someone who could relate.....someone who was just as scared and just as unsure.... someone to push me through when I was having a hard time or pick me up when I just couldn't do it for myself. I have found some, and I am eternally grateful for them. I consider them friends......However.......


That person is sitting right next to you while you're typing away on Facebook......

That person is in the kitchen cooking dinner while you're watching TV.....

That person sleeps next to you at night.......

There is a good reason why the divorce rate amongst people who are parents of disabled or chronically ill children is so much higher than the national average......it is STRESSFUL. It is HARD. It piles up on top of the rest of everything else and when something has GOT to give.....it does.


The simple answer to that question is blame.......

She never does this......He never does that.......I handle all of the (fill in the blank) anyway, Id be better off doing it alone. at least then I wouldn't have to put up with his/her sh!t on top of it.

Ladies, open your mouth.

Gentlemen, open your mouth.

Communicate. Talk. Compliment. Believe.

I've failed at this.....twice. Caitlin and Natalie are paying dearly for my shortcomings.......

Look at home for the answers you need BEFORE you start looking somewhere else.

The grass is not more green. Its just a different shade.

I speak to you from experience I wish I didnt have.

all of my best to you ~ j

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