Monday, July 12, 2010
Its Monday. Normally I would go on and on about how I hate Mondays and how I really should be resting after getting practically NO sleep since Thursday night.
Its Monday. Normally I would tell you about work...I would entertain you with a story or maybe just a general statement about how I really do love my job, regardless of what I say.
Its Monday. I should be curled in a ball on the sofa, regretting more than 50% of how Ive spent the last 29 years 11 months and 20 days...my inner dialogue torturing me....relentlessly.
Its Monday. I should feel drained. I should be agitated. I should be tired...I should be yelling for naps and quiet.
Its Monday. I normally would tell you about the yucky virus Ive had over the weekend and how I am trying to avoid giving it to Natalie....
But I'm not any of these things today, and I'm not going to do any of these things today. Its Monday and for the first time in a long time, I am okay. The world makes sense. Life is as it should be. My mind is quiet.
I have no complaints of how unpredictable life is. I have no rantings of how much I hate CF. Natalie is doing well, her appetite has been wonderful today, thus far. Caitlin is with her father and therefore in very capable hands.
Maybe tomorrow will be different....maybe tomorrow I will fall apart. Maybe insanity, fear, doubt, and chaos will creep in and today will seem like a sick joke.....maybe....
Life is not perfect. I'm putting pieces back together, hoping that I remember where they go. I don't have a lot of material things, and maybe I never will....but I'm happy, my children are safe and happy and as healthy as they can possibly be......and that's good enough for me.