I probably shouldn't be doing this, but the truth is that some of my greatest moments of clarity come when I am away from home, when I can gather myself without everything staring me in the face.
I am sick, so sick of negativity...not just in CF life, but in every aspect of my life. I do my best to make the best of situations that would drive "normal" people absolutely batty. What is normal anyway? What do people expect from me? Quite frankly, I don't care(most of the time).
I am sick of being sad, of being pulled down by all that is around me. I was thinking about deleting my Facebook account, not because I don't like it, but because there is always something depressing, something sad, something going on. I take on the emotions of others very easily....its killing me. I have enough on my plate.
This blog was started for me. It was to be an outlet, my moment of peace, a place to let go, unwind, and vent.....This was never supposed to be an informative blog, a "I am woman, hear me roar" type blog. It wasn't supposed to be eloquent or funny, it was designed with nothing more in mind than...okay so it wasn't designed with anything in mind....nope, zip, zero, nada.
The problem is that I find that I am censoring myself....because I don't want to be judged, I don't want anyone get mad, get upset, freak out, think I'm crazy *blah blah blah* ugh! Its the 19 year old Juli....back with a vengeance :( ewwwww!
So consider yourselves forewarned....this is coming to a screeching halt. Beneath all of this is a real person, with real problems, with a real life, and this blog is mine.
I don't want to scare anyone off, I have no plans to bite off chicken heads or add porn to the site. I do, however, plan to keep it real, raw, and unedited....except for the occasional spell check :) But definately not as raw as Eddie Murphy's stand up comedy.
I hope you'll come along for the ride. ~J