When my CF journey started, I was alone. Not just the "oh I'm lonely" type of alone, real alone. My sister helped with babysitting while I went back to work, my family would have done more if I had asked, but as far as moral support, I couldn't find anyone who understood....really understood. Newborns, NICU's, CF specialist, tests, blood draws....It made me want to crawl into a hole....A very deep dark hole. It made me hate myself, after all, I had given this little baby this dreadful death sentence. It frightened me beyond all belief, I think I thought about death, funerals much more then than I do now. If I could put it into one word....despair. Total and utter despair.
As with most of my stories, there is a light, however dim it may be, there is always a light.....
Strange became normal, fear became understanding, and this fragile frightening baby grew into my life lesson, my life's greatest frustration, and one of only two people on the planet that I would give my life for.
Almost a year ago things changed dramatically.....I got a laptop for my birthday and it was over....O-V-E-R, but in a good way.
I found the CFF on FB, CysticLife on FB, blogs, people, friends. People who however far away they may be, were right beside me, fighting everyday. *sigh* what a relief.
Today, I am so grateful for the people Ive "met", and grateful for those who remain "unknown". I love my online peeps as much as you can possibly love someone you "know" online. You all make my life easier, make me smile a little bit more, and make this CF life bearable.
So this one's for you, many many thanks, you could never know how much you are loved and appreciated.
blessings to you all this weekend, Im out. ~J