Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Nightmares.

They say that dreams are your subconscious way of working out conscious problems, issues, or fears. If this is the case, I sure wish that I had less baggage and could dream about pleasant things.

As cool and calm as I seem outwardly on a daily basis is as tormented as I am in my sleep.

People, places, ideas.....things that have already been played out in real life....replayed over and over again with different scenarios, different endings over and over and over again. Fears brought to life with the closing of my eyes. Wishes, wants, things that I wish I had the nerve to do, done in an instant only to wake to the realization that my dreams are as close as I'll ever get. Frustrating. Exhausting. Depressing.

I wake in the morning so tired. Half of the time the dreams are so real, it takes me a minute to get oriented and to figure out if it really happened or not.

I'm starting to understand more and more why people need sleeping pills and therapy.

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