Thursday, January 26, 2012

It's my house and I'll cry if I want to.......

January has gone as quickly as it came.....with it came our yearly round of January antibiotics. We are ever so grateful that it was just an URI and ear infection that was the culprit. Natalie has been extraordinarily healthy for the past few months....nothing has come up that wasn't fixed with a few extra treatments. I was concerned that with her being in school and her exposure to all kinds of yummy (ugh!) things that we would have a hard time this year.....however, things seem to be going along fine, and I am very relieved.

Caitlin is doing well. Her grades are excellent, her attitude leaves something to be desired at times, but she is nearly twelve and her life is changing too....hormones, a new baby....I cut her slack, maybe more than I should, I'm not really sure.....I cut her as much as my sanity will allow.....I've been where she is......I understand more than she realizes.

Life is hectic, life is stressful, life

I have yet to become accustomed to all of the changes.....and they are everywhere....there is no safe haven.

I am fat.

I am lazy.

I am moody.

I am tired.

I am hormonal.

I worry all the time.

I cry at TV shows.

I have unrelenting heartburn.

My insides are a punching bag.

I am 30 weeks pregnant.

If I get up to go to the bathroom one more time, I think I will cry about that too. I cant pick out a baby name to save my life and that makes me feel guilty, which makes me want to cry. We have nothing ready, which Ive already cried about. Did I mention that I cry a lot?

Now......those of you who know me, know that I am not really a cry baby. I am more of the "suck it up and move on" type of girl. I was more emotional when I was younger, however, I found that it did not serve me seems that I am making up for lost time.....exercising those unused tear ducts.....*sigh*.

This is actually another excuse that I have made up not to come here.......I am so freaking tired of crying and listening to myself bitch that I really didn't want to have to listen to it my head.....and then read it....

There is part of me sitting here telling me to delete this.

Instead I'm going to hit the publish button.

Hope this finds you all well.

all of my best ~j

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