I've never had a "weight problem" per say. As much as I would like to down on myself (one of my fav pass times) and say that Ive always been a cow, sadly, I cannot.
I have my grandfather's tendencies to be a tad lanky and while I have no problem getting curves.....its never really gotten out of hand.
That being said, my last 21 days on this diet has taught me a lot about weight loss, eating, and habits.
So here goes.
My top ten things you should know while dieting:
10. You must sleep to lose weight. Not just regular sleep, but all out let your body rest.....You starving for goodness sakes.....LET YOUR BODY REST!
9. You must eat to lose weight. The moment that you say "Oh, I'm just not hungry." Is the moment that your body realizes that its starving and holds on like hell to every smidgen of food you put in your mouth.
8. You must have a Teflon coated pan if you wish to eat....that and A LOT of baking dishes.....
7. Dieting requires cooking. If you do not like to cook. You should not diet. Eating out is like diet murder.....only with slow and determined torture beforehand and afterward.
6. The world does not care if you are dieting.....they will eat what they want anyway and they will do it right in front of you.....
5. The Reese cups are not going to magically hide themselves in the fridge. The ice cream sandwiches do not magically walk back to the store. The "Natalie" food does not become suddenly unnecessary and disappear from the cabinet.
4. Generic brand items are good, but not always comparable. Generic Pam sucks. Refer back to #8
3. Egg whites are a good choice in breakfast food while dieting. However, if you want to eat 2 egg whites, you should make 3, if you wish to eat 3, you should make 4 and so on and so forth. The reason for this is that AT LEAST one whole egg white is going to stick to the bottom of the pan. Please refer back to #4 and #8.
2. Dieting does not suddenly cure your lazy streak. You still have to make yourself get up and do something....a most unfortunate realization.
AND FINALLY, MY #1 LESSON IN DIETING........***drum roll please***
1. Scales are the invention of the devil. They taunt you. They stare at you, tease you.....and when you finally give in and step on them.....they tell you what a loser you are. My advice? Throw them out the back door.....or even better, don't buy one in the first place.
So am I a little bitter? I don't know.
I have hit that "over 30" point in my life. The place where people tell you that weight loss is nearly impossible. Your metabolism slows to a near standstill.....the world falls apart around you. Wrinkles come. Collagen is lost. Where the ghosts of your past sneak up on you and suddenly appear all over your face......
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind getting older. I just never thought it would be me doing it.
Diet with care. ~j
I have my grandfather's tendencies to be a tad lanky and while I have no problem getting curves.....its never really gotten out of hand.
That being said, my last 21 days on this diet has taught me a lot about weight loss, eating, and habits.
So here goes.
My top ten things you should know while dieting:
10. You must sleep to lose weight. Not just regular sleep, but all out let your body rest.....You starving for goodness sakes.....LET YOUR BODY REST!
9. You must eat to lose weight. The moment that you say "Oh, I'm just not hungry." Is the moment that your body realizes that its starving and holds on like hell to every smidgen of food you put in your mouth.
8. You must have a Teflon coated pan if you wish to eat....that and A LOT of baking dishes.....
7. Dieting requires cooking. If you do not like to cook. You should not diet. Eating out is like diet murder.....only with slow and determined torture beforehand and afterward.
6. The world does not care if you are dieting.....they will eat what they want anyway and they will do it right in front of you.....
5. The Reese cups are not going to magically hide themselves in the fridge. The ice cream sandwiches do not magically walk back to the store. The "Natalie" food does not become suddenly unnecessary and disappear from the cabinet.
4. Generic brand items are good, but not always comparable. Generic Pam sucks. Refer back to #8
3. Egg whites are a good choice in breakfast food while dieting. However, if you want to eat 2 egg whites, you should make 3, if you wish to eat 3, you should make 4 and so on and so forth. The reason for this is that AT LEAST one whole egg white is going to stick to the bottom of the pan. Please refer back to #4 and #8.
2. Dieting does not suddenly cure your lazy streak. You still have to make yourself get up and do something....a most unfortunate realization.
AND FINALLY, MY #1 LESSON IN DIETING........***drum roll please***
1. Scales are the invention of the devil. They taunt you. They stare at you, tease you.....and when you finally give in and step on them.....they tell you what a loser you are. My advice? Throw them out the back door.....or even better, don't buy one in the first place.
So am I a little bitter? I don't know.
I have hit that "over 30" point in my life. The place where people tell you that weight loss is nearly impossible. Your metabolism slows to a near standstill.....the world falls apart around you. Wrinkles come. Collagen is lost. Where the ghosts of your past sneak up on you and suddenly appear all over your face......
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind getting older. I just never thought it would be me doing it.
Diet with care. ~j
I had mixed emotions while reading this post. I laughed and got frustrated for you. I'm proud of you for sticking with it, though.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs!
my dearest josh.
ReplyDeleteI had mixed emotions writing this post. Its hard to complain about trying to lose weight when so many of my wonderful friends and/or their little ones would jump through hoops to gain....natalie included.
Alas, I am female and sometimes my inner girl gets the best of me. It has been frustrating, but better to laugh about it. Thank you for your kind words as always. ~juli