Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Third time's a charm.....or not.

I have tried several times to account for my whereabouts on this blog.

Posts have gotten erased (by blogger) or laid aside for various reasons (lack of desire to incite retribution).

My world is up in the air and in a free fall. I'm not sure exactly what the past month's happenings are going to look like when it all settles out.

I try to keep the "love" portion of this blog to a minimum. Especially where my private life is concerned, unless it directly affects my children or the situation on a whole. So I have kept the last person in our lives quiet.

Until now.

He's gone and that's okay.

What isn't okay is the fact that I have been hiding because of him, because I know that he reads this. Not sure how frequently. Don't really care. But the point is that I haven't been home for more than a couple of hours at a time here and there because of random happenings that make me think that he may be gone, but is always lingering somewhere close....and quite frankly that freaks me the f^&k out. I have had no desire to chart my whereabouts, my thoughts, nor my feelings.

Maybe I'm crazy. I've been accused a time or two.

But until I feel better or some relief, things are going to be kinda quiet around here.

all of my best to you always ~j

2 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about the split. I'm sure it wasn't easy. No more telling boyfriends about your blog until they last a minimum of a lifetime. :-) Don't let it shake your confidence in who you are - someone very special raising two daughters about to go back to college; and someone who is a survivor and strong.

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  2. Hey UC!

    Agreed. I forgot how nice writing without boundaries was. I read back over some of my blogs and was ashamed. I used to write freely. I'll be getting back to that soon. Break ups arent as hard as they used to be. Im pretty sure I relate more and more to that song "Heartless" as time goes by. Damaged goods, my dear. Anyhoo. Thanks for stopping by to see me, as always. much love ~j

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