Thursday, January 20, 2011

awww man, not again....

I awoke this morning to a familiar sound.....I was hoping that it was just a random event....

Then this morning while driving Caitlin to school, I heard it again....a cough, Natalie's cough.....

Ugh! *tears* s*&t F$%k D#$n h#ll!!!!

Call me neurotic. Call me insane. My heart melted.

I hurried in the door, started Natalie on her treatments, and dared her to move....

We've been in a lackluster state of doing treatments. She plays with her dollhouses, rides on her pony, chases after any human being that happens to be near all with a nebulizer mask on her face....I don't suppose that's a bad thing, anything to pass the time.....

But my mommy guilt kicks in as soon as I hear her cough....maybe if I didn't let her run around, what if she has spilled some of them while I wasn't looking and that's why shes coughing, should have made her do another one that time that (fill in the blank)....that's what I get for spending so much time at work....being so tired....stupid juli, that's what you get for not being a drill sergeant....that's what happens when you lay off.....

Poor Natalie. She's going to be afraid to cough in front of me. I parked her on the sofa, directly across from me.....staring at her nebulizer.....

breathe in....

breathe out....

mentally encouraging the medicine...."work, work you stupid vials of God knows what.....work"....

*cough*

*sigh*

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